Thanksgiving 2034

My house is way too quiet… My two oldest are off at school and my baby is asleep upstairs. I’m not quite sure what to do with all this PEACE AND QUIET. And a to do list that actually gets checked off. And thoughts that come to completion in my head without interupption.

When we found out we were pregnant in December 2013, we had just come home from celebrating Thanksgiving in Denver with Mat’s family. We had a glorious time…but the whole time, every time I’d try to drink a cocktail or a glass of wine…it just didn’t taste quite right. By the end of the week, I was in straight up denial… I had a hunch, but I was praying I was wrong. Right after we got home, I headed up to Walgreens to buy a test. {And why is this still awkward when you are already a mom and have been buying these silly sticks for years??? It’s like the Walgreens cashier is going to slap you on your hand and send you to detention?! OR WORSE CALL YOUR MOM!} Anyways. Boom. We were prego. This was a surprise and unplanned.  A myriad of thoughts flew through my mind… starting with the obvious. Well the first was actually a four letter word (just keeping it real) but we can skip past that…”WTH????!!! We were careful-ish… I just FINALLY lost my baby weight…. I can’t even handle the two kids we have… another? AND THE NEWBORN PHASE? Lord have mercy I can’t do the newborn phase again. I mean kid #2 was a breeze… but #1???? I still have nightmares that involve a baby crying LITERALLY all night long. LITERALLY. And every time I hear a Dyson I break out into cold sweats. Lord I can’t do that again. Nope….” And then as the shock slowly marinated and eased up… my very first thought was… ‘Holidays with three grown kids are going to be a blast.’  I have no idea why I fast-forwarded 20 years, but visions of our kids, their significant others, grandbabies… (hopefully not TOO soon.. I mean I’m not even 40 yet) sitting around a big family table, laughing, sharing stories of years past flooded my anxious little heart. And suddenly I knew everything would be okay….that I wanted a big(ger) family and I was ridiculously excited for #3 to join our crew. {and if you’re a momma who has been trying LONG AND HARD to have babies – please do NOT take this the wrong way… babies are such an incredible blessing… these are just unedited thoughts that flew through my mind during the AFTERSHOCK}

I’ve had this intense desire lately for my kids to remember the “mundane” about life… the normal, every day “things” about our days together. Morning cuddles on the couch…walks to the pond…Monday trips to the grocery store (This is still just a little too hard to put into words. I mean the anxiety I have felt every time I have had to grocery shop with ALL my kids this summer almost turned my hair grey. Well maybe it did but I’ll never tell!) Sure kids will remember the vacations, holidays, birthday parties…but mostly I want our kids to remember the chaos of dinner time… the fact that mommy almost never sat down to eat, because if I did the entire crew played musical chairs to be right  beside or on top of me… and as soon as we all got {re}situated either a)milk spilled b)someone needed more of something c)Harley took food off of Jack’s tray (again) d)all of the above. This is on a good night. And I’m not alone… I know every momma is with me on this one… it’s called the mom diet… it’s how we successfully lose weight after our babies. WE CAN’T FINISH A MEAL IF KIDS ARE INVOLVED. Screw running… just try to eat only when your kids are eating and BOOM… instant weight loss. So do I want my kids to remember fancy Christmas dinners? Absolutely. But I really want them to remember the messy kitchen table…food everywhere…dining on our “fine” plastic ikea china… the dog licking up everyone’s crumbs (bc mommy couldn’t ever remember to feed her. oops) Sydney blurting out some sort of  “potty” word just for the thrill of reaction. Or choosing that moment to sing “God Our Father” at the top of her lungs… and then get in a fight with Campbell about the “correct” lyrics. Because even in the midst of that nightly, beautiful chaos, we were together, we were {mostly} laughing, catching up on each others’ day. And no matter what shenanigans were pulled that day…we could all sit down at dinner and it would be okay.

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Fast forward to Thanksgiving 2034… and lets be honest… we’re just hoping they will all have moved out of the house  & be contributing to the wellbeing of society as a whole by then… {Am I right or am I right?!} I mean we have high expectations and college funds, etc… but as long as the trio isn’t still living upstairs by then, we”ll call it good.  Campbell will be in law school (because the girl can ARGUE like no one’s business….Harvard Law here we come – Good luck with this one!) and Syd will be in acting school on the west coast and a fruitarian (does that even exist? If so… she will rock it like a boss. No carbs or meats… just fruit and the occasionally a red pepper when she’s feeling saucy.) and Jack is… well whatever he is going to be. He may or may not be my current favorite and I may or may not have promised him a Range Rover for his 16th birthday because I never thrwew him a 1st birthday party. So I’m just praying he’ll be driving his RR home from college to see his momma for Thanksgiving (no pressure buddy. really.) Basically I will just pat myself on the back  if by that time we all wear clothes at the dinner table. BONUS  points if they can figure out how to USE A NAPKIN (looking at you CAMPBELL) and we can stop spilling the freaking milk during dinner… and that Syd would finally give up the potty talk.


So Thanksgiving 2034… you’ve got a low bar… MAYBE we’ll actually eat in the dining room… but please 1) everyone come BACK home for the holiday 2) wear clothes & use napkins please. 3) And for the Love of God Syd, drop the potty talk?

by bethany

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